It's not a dirty word
August 7th 2008 11:17
Depression....
I'm not going to start with the usual textbook definition of depression and what it is. The fact is that it's real, it's not a dirty word, nor is it a taboo and so many people are being affected by it, myself included.
While it is not something I often speak about, I am not ashamed to admit it. I've struggled with depression since my teens but it really began to affect my life and my ability to function when I was 18. I was started on Zoloft and my moods did improve for awhile. However, the trade off was an inability to concentrate, my marks dropping dramatically (I was in my second year of law at the time) and weight gain.
Gaining weight just made me even more depressed but my doctor believed in Zoloft and wouldn't take me off it. I did not want to blow up anymore and didn't understand why I could no longer concentrate and wasn't able to be a good student as I had been all my life. It wasn't a huge weight gain but it was in a short period of time - 6 kgs in 6 months and having always been slim, I didn't want to deal with it. I went to a different doctor at the same practice and he weaned me off the Zoloft.
My mind cleared, I started to feel like myself again and lost 2 kgs in the first week I was off it. I had to work on the other 4kg but it didn't take too long and my marks also immediately improved. I was on Zoloft for about 4 years and I honestly believe that I should never have gone on it in the first place.
I'm not saying it doesn't work, it just didn't work on me the way that it was supposed to. I felt like myself again after coming off it, and I haven't looked back.
The effects of the depression had a longer term effect on my life though. I now have to work hard to show employers I am more than my academic record because they don't look at my first year (before Zoloft) and my final year (after I came off the Zoloft), they look at the whole thing and my GPA took so much damage that coming out at the end and having brought up my marks didn't count for much at all. I probably should have taken time off during the worst periods, but I needed something to occupy me when the depression was at its worst. I kept going, I repeated subjects, I took longer to get through but I managed it. That's a victory in itself once depression enters your life and it's a continual struggle but manageable, and without medication.
Medication is sometimes necessary (yes Tom Cruise, psychiatric medications should be used to treat real conditions), but it is also over-prescribed. I'm sure my experience with anti-depressants is not unusual and many have experienced the same effects. For some it may work, for others it doesn't and in some cases, it may even create more problems. Medication should be prescribed on a case by case basis, not to anyone exhibiting symptoms of depression and other psychiatric conditions.
I cannot say that I am cured, I believe that depression is something that can lay dormant or occur occasionally to those who have suffered from it and come out the other side. However, it is manageable, it is treatable and you can get through it.
I'm not going to start with the usual textbook definition of depression and what it is. The fact is that it's real, it's not a dirty word, nor is it a taboo and so many people are being affected by it, myself included.
While it is not something I often speak about, I am not ashamed to admit it. I've struggled with depression since my teens but it really began to affect my life and my ability to function when I was 18. I was started on Zoloft and my moods did improve for awhile. However, the trade off was an inability to concentrate, my marks dropping dramatically (I was in my second year of law at the time) and weight gain.
Gaining weight just made me even more depressed but my doctor believed in Zoloft and wouldn't take me off it. I did not want to blow up anymore and didn't understand why I could no longer concentrate and wasn't able to be a good student as I had been all my life. It wasn't a huge weight gain but it was in a short period of time - 6 kgs in 6 months and having always been slim, I didn't want to deal with it. I went to a different doctor at the same practice and he weaned me off the Zoloft.
My mind cleared, I started to feel like myself again and lost 2 kgs in the first week I was off it. I had to work on the other 4kg but it didn't take too long and my marks also immediately improved. I was on Zoloft for about 4 years and I honestly believe that I should never have gone on it in the first place.
I'm not saying it doesn't work, it just didn't work on me the way that it was supposed to. I felt like myself again after coming off it, and I haven't looked back.
The effects of the depression had a longer term effect on my life though. I now have to work hard to show employers I am more than my academic record because they don't look at my first year (before Zoloft) and my final year (after I came off the Zoloft), they look at the whole thing and my GPA took so much damage that coming out at the end and having brought up my marks didn't count for much at all. I probably should have taken time off during the worst periods, but I needed something to occupy me when the depression was at its worst. I kept going, I repeated subjects, I took longer to get through but I managed it. That's a victory in itself once depression enters your life and it's a continual struggle but manageable, and without medication.
Medication is sometimes necessary (yes Tom Cruise, psychiatric medications should be used to treat real conditions), but it is also over-prescribed. I'm sure my experience with anti-depressants is not unusual and many have experienced the same effects. For some it may work, for others it doesn't and in some cases, it may even create more problems. Medication should be prescribed on a case by case basis, not to anyone exhibiting symptoms of depression and other psychiatric conditions.
I cannot say that I am cured, I believe that depression is something that can lay dormant or occur occasionally to those who have suffered from it and come out the other side. However, it is manageable, it is treatable and you can get through it.
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