Middle School Blues
October 24th 2006 08:42
How many people have had the unfortunate experience of being told by someone that they desperately wanted to be liked by that they were 'not friend material'?
I am guessing many people have been on both the receiving end of such a comment, and probably, in not so many words, the giving end of that sentiment, as well. We'll call it middle school. Those awkward formative years when everyone is trying to sort out who they are, who they like, and by whom they want to be liked. We've dabbled in mean-ness, snide-ness, friendli-ness, and heaps of other 'nesses." And the really trendy thing, trendy is having emerged from it better off. Trendy is not letting the process scar you for all eternity.
So what if the girl/boy you thought was your ticket to the desired crowd turned down your offer of friendship. So what if you were handing out kindness in bulk only to be on the receving end of 'bitchy." As adults we look back, and hopefully, hopefully we're more wise now. Hopefully that person, hell-bent on making you miserable in your teens, is no longer an influence, a worry, a concern, or a thought.
Socialization at an approriate age is good for us all. Strength comes from having those experiences, sheltered in their impact by the equally awkward experiences of peers, and diminished in their blow by the care of loved ones in the form of friends who have always been there, parents who love unconditionally, gardians who have made it their mission to cushion your fall, relatives who always made themselves available, teachers who insipried you to look towards the future or any other, presence in your particular life.
My cousin is going through it now, which is what reminds me of those years. Fearing her whole life will be stuck in this moment when she has to "vy" for the friendship of those she admirers and dismiss the friendship of those she can't see a use for. I keep telling her, trendy is making it through with your self intact, but not only that, trendy is making it through having caused no road kill. Your never should never linger on the tongues of others as the one who caused harm. Everyone learns, sooner or later. Sooner or later, everyone must learn, and believe, its better to learn sooner. Not that trendy is much consolation to a bruised and battered, deeply mired in angst teenager, but one day it will be all the reward you crave. Making it through middle school is but one goal. Letting it go when it holds no potential to better your life, and after so much time, that is more important.
Invariably everyone's been there. And the people we all admire, the people whose appreciation and recognition we continue to crave, those people have lived, and learned, and moved along when the experiences they had weren't helping them grow. Things that 'happen' to you don't always make you better in the end (sometimes they're not even much fun in the process...) but thing that you cultivate, things that you make happen, those are the experiences whose final lessons, and the journey along the way, make your life. Seeking experience is trendy. Sitting around waiting for someone else to 'make your day' well, its not gonna be me!!
I am guessing many people have been on both the receiving end of such a comment, and probably, in not so many words, the giving end of that sentiment, as well. We'll call it middle school. Those awkward formative years when everyone is trying to sort out who they are, who they like, and by whom they want to be liked. We've dabbled in mean-ness, snide-ness, friendli-ness, and heaps of other 'nesses." And the really trendy thing, trendy is having emerged from it better off. Trendy is not letting the process scar you for all eternity.
So what if the girl/boy you thought was your ticket to the desired crowd turned down your offer of friendship. So what if you were handing out kindness in bulk only to be on the receving end of 'bitchy." As adults we look back, and hopefully, hopefully we're more wise now. Hopefully that person, hell-bent on making you miserable in your teens, is no longer an influence, a worry, a concern, or a thought.
Socialization at an approriate age is good for us all. Strength comes from having those experiences, sheltered in their impact by the equally awkward experiences of peers, and diminished in their blow by the care of loved ones in the form of friends who have always been there, parents who love unconditionally, gardians who have made it their mission to cushion your fall, relatives who always made themselves available, teachers who insipried you to look towards the future or any other, presence in your particular life.
Invariably everyone's been there. And the people we all admire, the people whose appreciation and recognition we continue to crave, those people have lived, and learned, and moved along when the experiences they had weren't helping them grow. Things that 'happen' to you don't always make you better in the end (sometimes they're not even much fun in the process...) but thing that you cultivate, things that you make happen, those are the experiences whose final lessons, and the journey along the way, make your life. Seeking experience is trendy. Sitting around waiting for someone else to 'make your day' well, its not gonna be me!!
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