What If: A Counter-factual examination of what if i had had self-control
March 23rd 2007 02:11
what if i hadn't let you come back with me last night, or what if i had never let you come back with me at all?
how different would my life here have been if you hadn't been a part of it at all? What if you hadn't played the same part? What part have you been? You've been lover and friend, confidant (mistakenly) comerade, commiserate, tutor and crowd-gatherer. What if I hadn't had you to fill those roles? What if the day i got that terrible news i didn't have you to call, to cry to, to ultimatley be frustrated by--what if?
what if last night changes those thing again? what if its 10 steps forward and 20 steps back with us? What if i lose the comfort I was just starting to have with you?
What if we didn't do everything on your time-frame, on your instigation? What if I had some input? What if i had some strength?
I used to tantalize myself with things I couldn't have, but ultimatley know I'm far to principled to indulge. What if that had never changed? What is it about you?
Its my life. I am entitled to live it, no? What if the way i live my life affects others? First do no harm....do no harm to who? To me or to them? Who's taking care of me if i'm taking care of them? What if?
Indulgence or restraint on sticky moral lines? which ones trendier?
how different would my life here have been if you hadn't been a part of it at all? What if you hadn't played the same part? What part have you been? You've been lover and friend, confidant (mistakenly) comerade, commiserate, tutor and crowd-gatherer. What if I hadn't had you to fill those roles? What if the day i got that terrible news i didn't have you to call, to cry to, to ultimatley be frustrated by--what if?
what if last night changes those thing again? what if its 10 steps forward and 20 steps back with us? What if i lose the comfort I was just starting to have with you?
What if we didn't do everything on your time-frame, on your instigation? What if I had some input? What if i had some strength?
I used to tantalize myself with things I couldn't have, but ultimatley know I'm far to principled to indulge. What if that had never changed? What is it about you?
Its my life. I am entitled to live it, no? What if the way i live my life affects others? First do no harm....do no harm to who? To me or to them? Who's taking care of me if i'm taking care of them? What if?
Indulgence or restraint on sticky moral lines? which ones trendier?
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